Dudes, I am going to blow your minds

Do you see that, above? Do you see that?!

It’s bubblegum cigarettes! Cigarettes for kids! Remember these? Yeah, they had these when I was a kid but they banned them ages ago because I guess these things were teaching kids that smoking was cool.

Welcome to Berlin where pretty much anything is permitted. I can accept sex clubs, public nudity, chess-boxing, 24-hour techno parties, drugs… but candy cigarettes, dude… this is just regressive and weird. Yet there they are.

I suppose they aren’t really a Berlin thing. I bought them in a Turkish store down the block from me that also sells fresh Turkish delight (which is amazing, by the way). The box says they were manufactured in Macedonia, one of those clearly backwards East European republics where anything goes, apparently. I don’t even know where Macedonia is on the map. In the Balkans or something?

Clearly these things are bad because they show you that smoking is cool. See, even bubblegum cigarettes make me look cooler than I normally do.

Like, 1.4 times cooler by my estimation.

I’m not sure what the “magician trick” is. Maybe one of the cigarettes actually has nicotine.

Maybe these things are not actually still manufactured and the box is a 20 year old relic. It could be, judging by the hideous taste of this gum. Its bubble-blowing capacity is decidedly sub-par, too. What a waste of 75 Eurocents.

Except I got to write this blog post. Bubblegum cigarettes. Dude. Dude.