Canadian rock band Nickelback won three Junos this year. I reviewed their album for Beat Route Magazine when it was released but they elected not to print it. I can’t imagine why. Here is the unprinted review:
Nickelback – Dark Horse (EMI, 2008)
Never will you need to wake up in a cold sweat with the terror that perhaps the new Nickelback album is actually really great and you’re missing out. It’s not.
Chad and the boys trot out their favorite four chords and five song structures for another album with as much innovation as the Stampede Superdogs show. There’s the angry head-banger song, the weepy power-ballad, the dumped lover fist-pumper… yawn. All with that certain deja vu of bad radio pop where you just know you’ve heard it before but can’t place where.
The lyrics are as accessible as a wheelchair ramp and as subtle as a kick to the groin. Next Go Round outlines Chad’s plan for some rough and tumble fucking with a lady-friend though he can’t bring himself to call it anything but “doing it” lest someone slap an Explicit Lyrics sticker on his record. Something In Your Mouth is about the every-man desire to have a bar skank suck one’s penis, and though it never says so explicitly Chad is winking at you so hard it’s like he’s got an icepick in his retina. This band has the maturity of a ten-year-old talking about boners.
The album is not only bad, it’s morally repugnant.